No one is perfect. And in your quest to find Mr. Right, don’t expect to find Mr. Perfect. Everyone has flaws – you included. But when it comes to a relationship, are those things that you use to laugh at or look past actual signs of a deeper issue?
When we are in a relationship, we are investing our time, heart and money. When we are younger, we can afford those investments. But as we mature and grow older, it becomes crucial to examine a relationship from time to time to make sure that it is healthy for one thing, and also that it is not a waste of your precious time and energy.
Here are some red flags to consider.
1. The need to change to make him happy is not cool. He should be in to you because of who you are and not what he can make you. If he is telling you what to wear, what to say and what to think, the red warning flag should be waving wildly in front of your face.
2. He’s always criticizing you. It’s one thing to help you or encourage you, but if his remarks are more like disses than positive encouragement, something ain’t right. Why does he have to put you down? A good man will help you and inspire you.
3. Your family and friends don’t like him. Chances are that is not going to change, and to be honest, there is probably some good reason why they are not cool with him. And then the question becomes, can you risk being isolated from them to stay with him?
4. He makes all the major decisions. He shouldn’t be the one that decides everything. A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
5. You don’t trust him. That’s a biggie. If you find yourself having trust issues, there’s a reason for it and it’s not going to go away, and in the end, it will drive him away. If you don’t trust him, it’s either because your intuition is telling you not to, or he’s not worthy of your trust. Either way, it’s no good. You have to be ready to trust him for the relationship to work.
6. Your sex life is just that – sex. There’s no intimacy. The therapists agree; a healthy relationship that will last needs a healthy intimate connection.
7. Money matters. It really does. When you are out, does he count out the tip to the penny? Does he want to go to the matinee only to see a movie? Being responsible, saving for the future and working with a budget is one thing. But being cheap and miserly is another! It’s a warning sign of your life to come. So if you are OK shopping at the thrift store and only buying things on sale, he’s your man!
8. He doesn’t treat his family, especially his mom, well. OK, if they are crack heads or criminals, that’s one thing. But a man that is mean to kid and old people is going to be mean to you one day.
9. If you look into the future, and it’s scary… run now.