Face it. If you don’t trust your man, you are not going to have a loving and successful relationship. Not trusting him is going to cause problems. It might start out small and grow into a major fight. Or he might not be worth trusting.
And the truth is… you might now always be so truthful yourself at times as to where you have been and with whom. Before you ruin a good relationship or decide to abandon one, check out these ideas that might help you deal with trust issues.
• Don’t be combative. If the issue lies with you, you can’t go blaming him for it. A fight is just going to make it worse and things will be said that you and him might regret later. Think before accusing him – has he done something to make you think he’s not trustworthy, or is this something that is in your head because of past baggage?
• Let it out. Be nice about it, though. Let him know that you have a problem trusting him. Talk to him and let him know why – it could be something he is doing or has done or something that someone has done in the past to you. But it’s like an addiction – if you don’t recognize that you have a problem, you won’t be able to fix it. And if he is a good man, chances are he will understand and work to help you resolve your trust issues.
• Be consistent. Give him reason to trust you. If you tell him that you are going to be home at 6, be there, or at least call and let him know that you are stuck in traffic or whatever. Don’t give him reasons not to trust you.
• Be prepared. If you can’t resolve your trust issues, then maybe it’s best to move on. It’s not going to get better or go away unless you and him are proactive about it. If he’s no good, then cut your losses now. If you can’t trust him and it’s because of past problems you’ve had, maybe you aren’t ready to be in a relationship again.
• Get help. Talk to your church pastor or seek other professional help. If there has been an indiscretion, it might be too much for you two to handle on your own.
Trust works both ways. It’s as important as communication. If you have problems trusting your partner or he has trouble trusting you, it’s going to fester and grow into a deal breaker. Handle it before it breaks your relationship.
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Relationships are not going to succeed and be happy for either partner if you don’t have a good level of trust.