When you’re young, you have time to go through some losers and have a few flings. But when those 20s start creeping into 25 and heading toward 30 and you are not attached to someone, it may be time to start looking at your dates and asking, “Is he a keeper?”
As you date someone and move toward a steady relationship, here are five key things to look for in a keeper.
1. He’s thinking ahead. He has a plan. He’s moving toward some goals. He doesn’t have to be planning on being the richest man in the world (that may be someone too ambitious to have time for a relationship!), but he should have some dreams, some ambitions, such as owning a home, starting his own business – plans for a good life.
2. He’s thinking of you. He starts sentences with “We should…” The key word is “we.” He’s starting to include you in his life. You don’t want to hear anything creepy like “We should have five kids” on the third date, but things such as “We should take a class together” or “We should go to the Black Film Festival next month.” These things show that he’s thinking of you when you are apart and wants to include you in his life.
3. He thinks your quirks are cute and funny. The odd things you do are adorable to him, such as the way that you dance when something good or exciting happens, the way you pop your lips when you put on lipstick or the way you like to put peanut butter on your pancakes. He likes the offbeat part of you just like the rest.
4. He is willing to meet you half way. He doesn’t have to have his way all the time and he doesn’t fight like a baby or a kid (kids just roll their eyes and stomp their feet). He’s willing to listen and be fair.
5. He’s not afraid to be lovey-dovey now and then. We don’t want to see you mauling each other like you’re in heat at the mall, but some handholding, an arm around as you walk or a gentle kiss on the forehead while standing in line together – subtle signs of affection say “I’m glad we’re together.”
6. He doesn’t run when you hit a rough patch. It’s one thing to see you cry at a sad movie or listen to you vent about your boss, but it’s a whole new ball game when he is ready and willing to go with you to your aunt’s funeral or your cousin’s wedding. That’s a man who wants to be a part of your life.
7. He makes you laugh. ‘Nuf said on that one.