The statistics are alarming. More than half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Yet, millions still marry every year and even more get involved in committed relationships by living together.
It’s possible to save a relationship. It’s up to you, though, to decide whether you want to do that. Is it better for the kids? Have you invested so much time in it already that it’s not worth turning back? Do you still really love your partner?
If there are more questions than answers, it might be time to move on. But here are some ideas that you can put into motion to help you keep it all together.
1. Don’t act out of spite or anger. Think it through. Was his/her discretion so bad that it can’t be forgiven? You don’t want to regret your decision to head to Splitsville later on down the road, so ask yourself if you are ready, able and willing to live without him/her in your life.
2. Seek counseling. That’s not your mom or dad or grams. Their points of view will be one-sided. It means going to a professional that is trained to help you sort through your issues. A professional will look at your situation from an objective point of view and may be able to point out things you haven’t realized because you are hurt and your emotions are running high. It may be worth at least one session with a professional that can examine your state of affairs from the outside.
3. Think about making some changes. Make a list of what’s wrong or why you want to break up. Then look at that list and see what you are responsible for. Are there things you could change about you that will help save your marriage? You can not change that other person – you can only change you.
4. Take a trip down memory lane. Remember what brought you two together in the first place. Are the good times strong enough to outweigh the bad? Those things that you hooked up for in the first place – are they still there?
5. In the words of Beyoncé, listen. Let your guard down long enough to hear the other side. That doesn’t mean he/she will be right, or wrong. But maybe if you listen, you’ll hear what is really wrong and be able to save the relationship.
Of course it takes two to tango, so if your boo is willing to do any of these things, it’s probably not worth your effort either.